ESPN actually did something good for once and created Squeeze Play in 2021 to allow the indoctrinated to watch the chaos of college baseball regionals. College baseball is somewhat of a hidden gem in American sports. Baseball is already an extremely random game, so when you add in metal bats and college kids things get wild.
If you don’t know what Squeeze Play is I’m sorry. Imagine Redzone but instead of 8 games of 4-4 teams from the rust belt running the same 10 plays, it’s 32 games of pure chaos. It’s like watching Tenet for 10 hours (which maybe Tenet was that long idk). Nobody knows what the hell is going on but who cares because a guy just shot a gun backwards. It’s awesome. If you missed out on Squeeze Play this year just hope ESPN doesn’t decide it needs to add another Stephen A segment in its place on why the Cowboys haven’t declared Lebron the best player of all time.
On to the preview we go:
Knoxville Super Regional: Hillbillies (-1400) v. Evansville (+800)
Tennessee is trying to win their first ever baseball national championship. They have what is likely the best offense in the country, and the most obnoxious fanbase. A deadly combo at home against a 4-seed. Evansville winning the Greenville Regional over ECU was a great story. The Aces have legitimate players in OF Mark Shallenberger (17 HRs) and pitcher Shane “the leg” Harris (nickname from being a high school kicker), but unfortunately not enough to stop the Urnge.
Pick: Tennessee in 2.
Lexington Super Regional: Kroger Cats (-140) v. Oregon State (+110)
Oregon State baseball is the last team left standing from the Pac-12 in any sport. Once they lose it’ll be the end of an era and a smear on college athletics. Pitiful that it’s come to this. Oregon State is a true blue blood in baseball and has won a national championship more recently than the bluest-blood Kentucky basketball. The Cats have never made it to Omaha, but they have an elite pitching staff this year to get them there. RIP Pac-12, you will be missed.
Pick: Kentucky in 3.
College Station Super Regional: Texa$ A&M (-425) v. Oregon (+300)
Here’s a shocking stat: Texas A&M has never won a national title in baseball. Sorry, that’s probably only shocking to the people who consider TexAgs a news source. It’s impossible to take the people who gave Jimbo $77 million to stop working seriously. A&M is the guy who shows up to dinner in a Porsche then asks his friend if he can spot him on the bill. I promise he’ll Venmo you! Oregon, I’m sorry you have to go to College Station, but at least Phil Knight will probably give you 10 new jerseys for a three-game series.
Pick: Ducks in 3.
Chapel Hill Regional: UNC (-280) v. West Virginia (+210)
Major respect to WVU head coach Randy Mazey for giving up the private jet to his players after they made it to their first ever super regional. I won’t go into the fact that they played in the only regional without an SEC or ACC team in it. Instead, I’ll just question why he chose to eat lo mein noodles with a sweet tea. Both these teams have sure-fire first round players: OF Vance Honeycutt (UNC) and SS JJ Wetherholt. UNC took out reigning national champ LSU in the Chapel Hill regional, and had one of the best moments on Squeeze Play last weekend with a walk-off grand slam in their opening game.
Pick: Mountaineers in 3.
Clemson Super Regional: Dabo’s Cult (-165) v. Jorts (+135)
I’ll put aside my bias (if any) and say that Jac Caglianone is the second best player in the country. But, that’s about all I got for the fightin’ Sun Belt Billies. Clemson couldn’t beat Georgia this year (and won’t in September), but they’re a legitimate title contender and should handle Florida this weekend.
Pick: Clemson in 3.
Athens Super Regional: Dawgs (-150) v. NC State (+120)
About damn time the Dawgs won a home regional. First super regional since 2008 is both exciting and a humble reminder of life at non-Kirby Smart Georgia. “Always teasing never pleasing” to use the wise words of Frank the Tank. On Friday afternoon, when Army was pushing us to the limit I had flashbacks of Campbell and Fresno St. and all the others in between. Turns out it was just Wes Johnson respecting the troops. Then, we won the regional in the most satisfying way possible by letting the nerds think they had a chance. As Georgia fans we don’t get much out of a win versus Tech, but there is not a worse team to lose a game to. Good job Dawgs.
Oh yeah, NC State. They’re a scary team that has a deep pitching staff. It’s not gonna be easy, but the Dawgs and Charlie Condon are 32-5 at Foley this year. Make it 34-5.
Pick: Dawgs in 2.
Tallahassee Regional: Florida State (-350) v. Uconn Lakers (+255)
Yes, Uconn basketball has won back-to-back national championships in basketball, but this is a baseball school now that Hurley is off to be Lebron’s babysitter in LA (Geno Auriemma please don’t read this). The Huskies have now been to super regionals in 2/3 years and are trying to get to Omaha for the first time since 1979. Meanwhile, Florida State is probably busy filing another lawsuit against the ACC to try and join a conference that doesn’t want them.
Pick: Uconn in 3.
Charlottesville Regional: Hoos (-300) v. Kansas State (+220)
Kansas State plays baseball about how you would expect they would. In an ode to Bill Snyder and running the same offense for 90 years, the baseball team still bunts runners over to second base and steals more bases than almost anyone in the country. The difference is that in baseball this is fun to watch (yes, Chris Klieman has modernized the football team but just go with it). The little apple’s finest are going to be a tough test for Virginia who has struggled to pitch consistently all season. The Hoos do have an elite offense though with every single hitter batting above .300 this season. Griff O’Farrell is an electric lead-off hitter and worth a watch.
Pick: Hoos in 3.
If you’re inclined to make a parlay of these picks you would win $0, but your odds would be +28757.
Georgia-ish 